lesson 4: Fiction (Chris began to question the wisdom of this trip.)

Chris began to question the wisdom of this trip.

Chris began to question the wisdom of this trip. He is on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere with a friend that has been battling a drug addition for years. They’re supposed to be headed to a drug rehab where his friend Taylor will check himself in. It seemed odd when Taylor asked him to go on this trip since Taylor never wanted help. Chris was surprised.

Taylor is jumpy, and he is constantly messing with the radio and sifting in his set. Chris wonders if he is on drugs. His suspicions are quickly answered when Taylor answers his cell phone. A chill comes over Chris and he starts to feels ill. He learns that they’re on their way to deliver drugs that are in the trunk of the car. Chris is very upset and wants nothing to do with this. He wants out of the car, but there’s nothing for miles. The environment is barren and desolate. He needs to find away to change the situation. If only he could drive. They have been on the road for several hours, and he has no ideal where they are or where they are going. Chris begins to sweat and panic sets in. The truth of the matter is that Taylor still needs help and Chris needs to find away to help him.

Since Chris has never been on drugs or been around people on drugs he doesn’t know what to expect. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should talk or keep his mouth shut. Chris keeps quite. He is afraid he will say something to upset Taylor and he wouldn’t know how to handle it. Taylor drives in silence, while Chris racked his brain.

After several hours on a dirt road, they come out on a highway that Chris recognizes. They would soon be approaching the next town and Chris needs a plan. Chris knows the town well. He has friends that live there he knows he can call. They would know what to do. It seems that Taylor has no intensions of stopping, but with Chris’s quick thinking, he is able to get Taylor to pull over.

As soon as Taylor goes into the store, Chris lets the air out of the tire and calls a friend. Chris paces while Taylor changes the tire. Taylor strung out on drugs can’t imagine how this happened. Even though Taylor is high on drugs he seems to be moving pretty quick. Chris isn’t sure his friend is going to make it in time.

Teachers comment

Tina,

Great scenario! I like the dramatic tension here and I think this could be a fun piece to develop into a full story.

When developing it, I would add some sensory detail and dialogue---there is a lot of potential for great dialogue between these two. Right now, this piece seems plot-heavy and scene light. The summary is a fascinating one, and it keeps the reader hooked, but it needs some more flesh---and by this I mean scene--- added to the bone. Scene and summary are ways both techniques to handle time in fiction. Summary covers a relatively long period of time quickly: Martin hadn’t seen Joe in thirteen years.

Scene covers a relatively short period of time slowly, in greater detail.

A scene is an event that can be witnessed (something happens), in a single setting described with sensory detail---temp, season, smell of pine trees, cold air of the 7-11, etc., usually with two or more characters (although not always), with dialogue and stage business (the things characters do while they talk) and sometimes a character’s thoughts.

When ever you have something important to convey in a short story or novel, whenever you want attention, like a toddler, you make a scene.

Good work.

All Best,

TAmara