The road is eerie with darkness and the thick fog hangs in the air. This makes Mick feel isolated as he searches for miles and all he can see is the ghostly remoteness around him. He takes a deep breath and holds on to the steering wheel of his four-wheel drive pickup and focuses on the road ahead. There are no other cars on the road and no lights in the distance. Mick feels uneasy about the drive, but he begins to relax to the warmth of the heater and the humming of the tires.
“Mick, are you okay driving?” Loretta shifts in her seat.
“I’m fine Loretta.” Mick, starting to get tired, never takes his eyes off the road. Loretta begins to drift off to sleep.
Bam! “What was that Mick? It sounded like you hit something. Did you run over an animal in the road? I hope what ever it was is okay.” Loretta jumps forward. Mick pulls the car over, steps out and walks around.
“I couldn’t have. There’s nothing out here.” Mick stands in bewilderment. “The noise I heard sounded like something hit the truck, but the truck is fine. I see no damage.”
“Are you drunk?” Loretta swings the truck door open and jumps out.
“No, I am not drunk. Why would you say something like that?”
“Mick, you had to of hit something and we just left a party and your going to tell me you’re not drunk? I don’t believe that, and I think you nuts.”
“Loretta, I’ve had two drinks all night.”
“Don’t give me that Mick. I have never seen you go out and have only two drinks.” “I’m not drunk. Just look around and tell me if you see anything.”
“I don’t see a thing. If we didn’t hit anything, than what was that noise Mick?”
They both gaze into the darkness. An unfriendly chill comes over them. The night is silent and the air is putrid. Nothing moves, not even the wind. They look at each other, jump in the truck and drive away. Neither one dares to look back.
Teachers comments
Tina,
Great job converting this summary into scene. Nice use of sensory detail (humming of the tires, etc.) and atmosphere.
This is great dialogue---full of conflict:
Nice work. Very creepy!
All Best,
Tamara
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